keeping secrets
by EdwardsAllMINE
Summary: Bella and Edward's relationship is going great, until jacob heard edward is gonna marry her, so threatens bella that he'll kill edward if she doesn't break up with him. I'm terrible at writing summaries! please read! BxE
1. threats

**(Author's/Note: just a confession you should know before reading this, I've never actually read the Twilight series I just know all the characters and the major events of their lives, and this is my first fanfic so please be nice! But I do plan on reading them but my library is out of them currently :( I 'm not gonna beg for reviews but i would sure like them! they make me :D like if u could tell that I've never read the book because of an obvious mistake or something, Sorry its kinda short, but I wasn't sure if people would even like it, thax! Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: donot own twilight/charcters**

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Bella thought about what she had to do now to herself and the love of her life, fresh streams of tears rolled down her red cheeks thinking of her task, it hurt her.

"Bella?!" he was at her window.

_FLASHBACK _

"Hey Jacob what's up?" she asked curiously wondering why he thought it was unnecessary to ring the door bell or knock before he entered her room, "Bella, Bella, Bella, my sweet Bella," he whispered when reached out to touch her face, but she pulled away confused and thinking _'Jacob never tried to touch me like that and he knows about Edward… I think…'_ but her thoughts were interrupted by Jacob's ridiculous comment "…so I hear that Edward likes you,"

"Well of course he likes me, he's my boyfriend!" She told him like he was asking what color the sky was.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," he started slowly "I want that to change… soon" a strange feeling took over her stomach and had commanded it to do flips against her will. "Bella I know you love me right?" he asked in a false sweet voice.

"No! I don't, I love Edward" she finalized sounding more authoritive than she felt. Momentarily she had forgotten that Jacob was with her and that she was in her room, but her thoughts were rudely interrupted by a searing fiery pain in her back, because Jacob had just slammed her into a wall, she grimaced at the thought of Jacob so painfully close to her.

"_You_, _Are_, _Mine_, _I_, _Own_, _You_, are you getting the picture yet Bella?" on the verge of yelling, but it wouldn't bother the inhabitants of her house because there were none, Charlie had gone some business trip for the next few days, so there were no worries about the noise or Edward's nightly stays, she internally smiled at the thought of Edward, but then snapped back to Jacob.

"No! I'm not _yours _Jacob, and I don't belong to anyone and I love Edward, that's the way it is… I'm sorry." she added quietly. He had started shaking Bella tried to back up but realized once again she was already pressed against her closet door, he had changed into wolf form, and Bella's jaw dropped and her eyes bugged out immensely.

"No I don't think you are sorry…yet, let me let you on a little secret, if you don't break up with Edward, I'll break him, simple enough for you?" she had started crying uncontrollably, nothing able to come out of her tight throat, so she just nodded quickly. "Good Bella." he whispered as he tried to force Bella into a kiss, she whimpered, trying to turn away from him, but he held her head still with what seemed like inhuman strength, it seemed like an immeasurable amount of time until Jacob pulled away from her and it seemed as if his eyes were laughing devilishly at her. After he jumped out her window, she collapsed near her bed, and sobbed more than ever before. Pulled her knees to her chin, and rocked herself trying to stop her tears, but of course nothing worked, she needed Edward, and she knew it but she also she knew couldn't have him now. She knew Edward was gonna be here any second he was never late, the clock's red numbers screamed 9:59, less than one minute now, she thought to her self. As if on cue Edward appeared at her window.

"Bella?! What's wrong?! What happened?!" he questioned her nervously, he jumped through her window and was at her side, trying futilely to comfort her, and gently pulled her face to his, and looked into her blood-shot eyes, a small gasp escaped him, but she quickly looked away. _'I know what I need to do and I just need to get it over with, don't drag this out Bella!' _She scolded her self harshly. She sighed trying to calm her self (then started hiccuping) and tried to gather any courage she could find, and looked at him with her blood-shot eyes and said "Edward, I don't love you."


	2. Edward, leave

_**CHAPTER 2!!**_

**(A/N: this is very short chapter sorry but the third will be up soon! ;)**

**Disclaimer: do not own twilight/characters**

_Previously: "Edward, I don't love you."_

EPOV

What, what's that supposed to mean, of course she does, all of our nights together, everything we needed was in each other well at least she was to me… "What?" I said in amazement, not comprehending what she was saying, hoping I had just heard her wrong, hoping she was just-

"Edward" she hiccupped interrupting my thoughts "I don't love you anymore, I never did and…" more tears came down her red cheeks, somehow this just wasn't sinking in.

"Why not? What about all our nights together-" I started but she interrupted me once again.

"It meant nothing to me!" she cried as if begging me to stop asking her questions because this was hurting her as much as me, but maybe that's just wishful thinking. If I could cry then I would be just as much as she is. Then my mind suddenly remembered what I did earlier today, that's why I wasn't here with her for that short while, and that short while changed everything, the ring I thought she would love so much, and just maybe I would tell her my biggest secret, that I'm really not human, I wish I was but I was a monster, a vampire, maybe just maybe she would accept me, had she found out what I was? maybe someone had told or maybe she had figured it out her self…

"Edward, leave." she spat and for a second I almost believed that she didn't love me, but I know her way too well. I got up and with out turning back I jumped out the window. She wouldn't be crying if she didn't love me, it wouldn't hurt her this much, something or someone is making her do this. I just know it, I thought I smelled something on her, but it was familiar, like, someone I've meet or know, wait, _Dog_. That was the smell I know it now, that dog has somehow convincer her that he's better than me, I realize I can't have children but she always told me it was no big deal, and it was fine, she didn't care, she loved me for who I was, if only she knew I was a monster, then she would have never said that. I have to prove to her that I'm better than him! Somehow I have to.

**(A/N: I know I'm sorry I'm a terrible person, that writes terribly short chapters! Please forgive me!) **


	3. Kisses

(A/N omg! i got my first reivew today !! im so happy! thanku Vampiress101! u made me smile! whoo hoo! _im kinda hyper! sory_ :D)

**disclaimer: do not own twilight/characters; wish i did! **

BPOV

I couldn't find the strength to pull my self up off my floor so I stayed there, I wish Jacob would understand that I'm nothing without my Edward! I'd rather die!

"Bella, did u do what I asked?" his false sweet voice filled the room like a bad smell.

"Oh it was a request, I'm sorry I thought it was a threat!" hate filled my words but I didn't care, that was how I felt so I wasn't sorry.

"Bella you're so hot when you're angry." I guess he thought it would soften me up, but it only made me want to punch his face in so hard, that the dent in it would never pop out again. I tried to run but of course my clumsiness of stopped me before I could even get up, just great. Jacob stood me up and got way too close for my liking, and held my chin, with so much strength I felt like I was up against a brick wall, and he kissed me. If you want I'll say I hated it but then I'd be a liar, it was surprisingly, kinda, maybe, ok it was good! But then he forced his tongue in my mouth, and I'm not lying when say it was nothing like Edward's kisses, it was a terrible experience, I miss my Edward and his slow and passionate kisses, they're filled with love, except for that strange feeling that tells me he's holding something back, but I try to forget about that feeling, because I know that he loves me, like when his eyes would silently ask permission for his tongue to enter my mouth, but I suppose that wasn't Jacob's _style_. I wanted to throw up, but instead tears just poured down my red cheeks, they were probably going to be permanently red now, but not from embarrassment for once for anger, and misery. He pulled away because he was furious that I was still upset over Edward, "I can give you something he never could, I don't know why you like him!" he spat furiously. Wait, what does he mean by he could give me some thing that Edward couldn't, well I know that Edward can't have children, but I was ok with it, as long as I have him, I'm happy. When I didn't answer him he said "did he lie to you about that too? He can't raise a family." he said with a mischievous smirk,

"I know that." I said with a small voice so I sounded like a toddler that was forced to apologize after causing a catastrophe.

"Well, do you also know that he's a Vampire? Just like I'm a Wolf," he said this with a noticeable amount of sincerity in his voice that scared me. What was the next thing he was gonna tell me that he expected me to believe, that Alice, Edward's sister, was like physic or something? "Edward's really about 100 years old he got bit when he was 17 so he'll be 17 for the rest of his life, oh and your really gonna love this," oh no I'm not! "His heart died in 1918, that's why he's so cold, there isn't any blood going through his veins, he is a cold blooded killer, do you know what Vampires eat?"

"In the movies, they drink blood." I whispered. Forcing myself not to believe his lies, I always wondered why he was so cold, but I'd used to it and I've come to like it, maybe that's why Edward never eats, no-I'm being ridiculous!

"Smart and beautiful, wow." he smirked. "yes, him and his whole family are Vampires, all of them, Alice, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, they all lied to you," his eyes darkened somewhat, "and they kill animals, drink their blood, either that or" gave a crooked smile when he said, "they drink their girlfriend's irresistible blood." He breathed. "Your scent is just…amazing" he sighed. I hoped he was gonna say something like _'Bella I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this to you, can you forgive me, I'm so sorry, I'm a big, fat, jealous, jerk, and I'm very sorry.'_but I think that would only happen in a perfect world where the bad guys are defeated by the good guys, and I wish I lived there, instead of where the good guys get beat up, or dead and the bad guys take over the planet, or your girlfriend. Sometimes I wish I was only a character made up by some great author, in a famous book or something-geeze! Daydreaming again! Oh my gosh Edward! I saw him! Right at my window, Jacob must have known because kissed me right then with more force than before, I cried and whimpered and tried my best to turn away from him but nothing worked, he just held my head still, as if it took him no strength at all to keep me there, more than anything I wished, that if Edward was a vampire, that he would have more strength than Jacob. As if my wish came true, Edward pounced on Jacob, but of course Jacob was waiting for and in a split second he was in his creepy wolf form, trying to rip Edward to shreds, and Edward was, wait, trying to _bite_ Jacob? For a second it didn't make any sense but then it clicked, Edward _was a Vampire,_and he was trying to kill Jacob, for me, well for us, he still cared about me even though I was such a jerk and told him I didn't love him any more and to leave, I don't know how I'm going to be able to live with myself, I still can't believe that he's here, for me. All these thoughts came rushing into my mind almost instantaneously, but as I started to cry, I was engulfed by blackness.

A/N why she is unconscious is because edward pounced on jacob, but jacob slammed bella too, and her back was t oher closet door like a domino affect, thats all:) did i spell Carlisle correctly? i think i did im not very good at spelling names!


	4. Alice's Vision

**disclaimer: donot own twilight / characters**

**EPOV**

What I saw when I peered through Bella's window made me want to break down and sob, but then I saw Bella trying, and failing miserably I might add, to pull away from his lips, oh no you don't! Not with my girlfriend! I fumed, throwing my self through the window, and right on Jacob's back, but he had either heard me or smelled me, because he immediately retaliated, and I try to bite him with as much venom as I could, wishing I could kill him with it, but I knew that even a lot of it would only knock him out for a day or so, Jacob ripped the flesh on my back, and it hurt immensely but at the time I didn't care about the pain, I just kept the goal in my mind, _bite as many places you can sink your teeth into. _I had already bitten his fury arm, and one of his legs I couldn't tell which but I didn't care of course. My back and shoulders were starting to hurt severely, for a split second, I thought I heard some voice in my head saying "I'm sorry Bella, I've failed you." But that just gave me the strength to reach out to his side and give him one last bite. Hard. His eyes widened, I guess he was scared, and the thought of that made me feel victorious, my gaze instantly went to Bella, her face so red, it might be that way permanently, before I picked her up I purposely threw Jacob's almost lifeless body out her window, I picked her up easily even though my back seared with pain, I didn't care, I would die for Bella, gladly, I added to myself.

When I was a few feet away from my house I already saw Alice at the door, well I guess there was no need to explain what happened thanks to Alice, Carlisle was already next to the couch with his medical supplies all laid out, I carefully laid out my angel on the couch, and let Carlisle roll up her shirt some, I internally smiled at the thought of Bella blushing right now, she always did that. Carlisle pushed on each of her ribs, to make sure they weren't broken, but he suddenly stopped however, I was kinda drifting off, thinking about how beautiful my Bella is, and how much I wanted to marry her, and how I hoped she would say yes, so I didn't notice. Then I heard a "hmmmm" come from Carlisle, and I looked up quickly.

"What?" I said making sure there wasn't any shaking in my voice, but I'm sure it showed in my eyes. Carlisle slightly turned her to her side, and there was a small purple bruise, just starting, not developed enough for human eyes, but still there, I was furious at myself, I wished I had just pulled him off of Bella and not slammed him into the wall, geeze, I wish I would think things though more thoroughly some times, it's a terrible habit of mine, especially when I left her… ok stop thinking about that, yes it was terrible but she forgives you! Ok she forgives you… right? Yea, just like she forgives you, for slamming her into her closet door, and for breaking her window. I just left, I needed to be alone, I didn't want to, but I was so mad at my self I was sure I would break something.

**APOV**

I decided to leave Edward alone with Bella, but I knew it! I knew I didn't like that Jacob guy! I was watching a movie with Jasper, I forgot what it was, I was too busy trying to get into Edwards thoughts right now, trying to understand what he kept blabbing about, well that's what it sounded like because I could only get pieces of what he was thinking, but it was obvious that he was beyond furious and probably nearing livid, then I got a small picture in my mind, a ring, beautiful, beyond beautiful, wait… isn't that Elizabeth's ring? No, but it was so close! Hmm, I smiled to myself, Edward is so old fashioned! The ring had one good sized diamond in the middle with a gold band. Then I realized something, I heard in his mind, 'say yes' Oh my gosh! He was going to marry Bella today, or at least he had bought the ring today, I supposed I gasped, because suddenly Jasper turned to me with a questioning look, I think he thought I had a vision.

"Oh nothing, never mind," I told him smiling I went up to Edward's room when I got a vision. OH MY GOSH! I burst into his room, and telepathically showed him my vision.

"WHAT?!" He yelled at me. Somewhat taken aback I calmly said,

"7 minutes, 6 seconds" I whispered, moving away form the door, because I knew he wanted to rush to Bella. I went back to Jasper, because I knew that Edward would never let her do that, I can't believe she would do that, but who am I to judge?

**EPOV**

I sat down on the floor near my Bella, afraid of what would happen when she would awake, I had to convince her that I didn't hate her, I still loved her, and that's she's not a terrible person as she sees herself, because I will not allow that kind of behavior, the thought of it made me wince.

**(A/N did I give it away? I'm not sure but I'm excited about writing now, so the next chap, may be up tomorrow afternoon.)**


	5. Will You Turn Me Into A Vampire

(A/N I realized I'm not putting the disclaimer on the top, but really who one earth would think that I'm Stephanie Meyer! But here it is)

**DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned Twilight and its character!! sigh Where are those fairy god parents when u need them? ****:'(**

**EPOV**

I was started to hear Carlisle behind me, I was concentrating and rehearsing what I would say to Bella.

"You can talk to her, she will wake soon, but she's fragile, she cracked one of her ribs." he said gently. Then as he left the room, I heard Bella.

"Don't tell him that, he treats me like a baby as it is!" her hoarse voice whined. I laughed; she never realized how fragile she was when she was with me.

"Bella, I love you." I said solemnly, at first she smiled, but almost immediately her smile faded, and she burst into tears, when she remembered.

"Oh my gosh! Edward, I'm sorry I didn't mean it, at all!" she sobbed. "I didn't mean anything I said! I'm so sorry! I'm a terrible person! I should have just told Jacob to F- some body else! I-" she kept babbling but I wanted her to stop.

"Bella, please listen, its fine, I love you, and there's nothing to forgive, because there's nothing you should be sorry about, now I realize you only did it to save me, because you thought that Jacob could kill me, but I have something I need to tell you, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. "I'm not human, I'm a Vampire." I looked down at my hands, because I was embarrassed, I wanted to be perfect for her, but-

"I know, Jacob told me," I grimaced at the thought of Jacob getting to tell her before me, "and I saw you trying to bite Jacob, but the only thing I want to know is, why didn't you tell me? Why did you keep it from me, for all this time? I thought we could trust each other with every thing." I had hurt her, I could tell, the pain was in her eyes. I was amazed that she would believe it so readily, but I guess it made sense that she would believe it since she saw it.

"One: I wanted to be perfect for you, I didn't realize how not telling you would hurt you so badly, and two: I didn't think that you'd believe me, and three: if you did believe me, I didn't think you would accept me. I am very sorry and I would give any thing to go back and tell you before any of this happened."

"Oh my gosh! Why are you apologizing to me? I'm a horrible, terrible, awful, mean person! I- I-" she was stuttering now, just like in the vision, but I was not going to let her, _my _Bella, commit suicide! Not gonna happen!

"Bella, before you go and do something your gonna regret, I want you to know that I love you, and I'm nothing with out you! Please don't kill your self!" I almost screamed. She was shocked.

"How did you know I was…? She stopped crying and just looked shocked, like someone had just torn her heart out. "But - but - but- I don't deserve you! I don't even deserve to live! I can't live with myself knowing I've what I've done to you!" she started sobbing some more, I picked her up and carried my little drama queen into my room, laid her on my bed, and sat next to her.

"You have no idea how wrong you are, I am the one who is imperfect, and you are perfect! You would rather give your self up to Jacob, than have him hurt me! I don't understand what I have ever done to deserve you, I really don't, but I love you with everything I have in my heart." well, really I don't have a heart, but I think I'll explain the Vampire thing later. She just looked away, I guess she was disgusted with herself, geeze, what can I do to make her see how beautiful she is? How perfect she is! I don't know why she can't see it! "Bella stop this nonsense! Please, it hurts me when your upset, and I knew you didn't hate me! You're a terrible liar! Well no offence but you are, and it didn't hurt me, it didn't! Please look at me. She turned her head to face me, and I leaned towards her, and kissed her. I couldn't find her scent, all I could smell was Dog, which made me furious, and I hoped that Carlisle was telling Sam about this, and that Jacob would be severely punished somehow. I pulled away from her trying to hide the sadness of Jacobs scent on her away from my eyes and my face, and I smiled instead.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to do that if it hurt so much," she said sadly. Damn! "Umm, so can you explain the whole Vampire thing? It doesn't make much sense." she asked me timidly. I went through my whole life with her, and everything in between, because I didn't want there to be anymore secrets between us, I told her about the Treaty, and that Wolfs and Vampires are natural enemies, and I hoped she wouldn't worry about it anymore.

When I finished, it had been quite a while later, she asked "Why do you call your self a monster? Yes, you drink blood from animals, but then you'd eat us instead!" she laughed a little but I didn't seem to find it very funny, "besides humans eat cows, and other animals, you're not a monster, you're a person, and people have to eat." the way she said it made it sound perfectly normal to drink animals blood! I sighed, I really don't deserve her, she's too good for me, and she's too irresistible for her own good! "Will you turn me into a vampire?" Her voice excited and full of hope. I just laughed, what a joker my Bella is, but then her face turned serious, "No seriously, I want to live with you for all eternity, I want you to turn me into a Vampire!"

**(A/N whoo hoo! Bella's gonna be a Vampire! I hope! If Edwards not a jerk and refuses! But I will have to force him if he doesn't!) **


	6. Say Yes

**(A/N OMG yall r amazing! yesterday i had 75 hits! yay!im so happy! hope u enjoy this one! i enjoyed writing it!)**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight/characters

JPOV

"Yes Carlisle I see, ok, ok, I got it yea." Sam was on the phone with Carlisle, and I was in trouble, deep trouble, I had broken the treaty, I just hoped that I wouldn't die from my punishment, (lol) and that it wasn't humiliating, but it probably was., and I did deserve it, I can't believe I did that to Bella, but she deserved it, she picked the blood sucker, and he was lying to her! Sam walked up to me, his lips pressed tightly in a straight line, _oh god, I'm so dead! _"Ok Jacob, you are off the hook,"

"What?!" I can't believe it!

"Oh you don't like that? Well I suppose I could change it," Sam said with a shrug.

"No-no-no, that's fine!" I almost yelled at Sam.

"No, that's fine, I want you to get what you want so, lets see, I could… banish you from the pack… yea that seems doable!" Sam smirked at me, ok he has got to be kidding! Banish me, I don't think so.

"NO! Really that's fine; I like being off the hook! Doesn't bother me at all! I like that better!" yea punishment is one thing, banishment is another!

"Too late." he said simply, "Leave. NOW! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" He was telling me to leave? He is nuts! He has officially lost it!

"But you can't do this, you- you- you just can't! I realize I broke the treaty but still, BANISHMENT?!" this wasn't fair! But I know I sound like a little kid.

"The treaty will still exist but only as long as you are gone." he stated trough clenched teeth. I got up and left the house, I would have said some other stuff to him, but I'd probably sound like a child again. I started walking into the woods, but I had no idea where I was going.

EPOV

_Previously: __"No seriously, I want to live with you for all eternity, I want you to turn me into a Vampire!"_

"WHAT?! Bella are you out of your mind?! Have you been listening to anything I've said?!" I was furious! There was no way in hell that my Bella would become one of us.

"But that's not fair! I want to live with you for the rest of eternity, but I'm going to keep aging, while you're going to stay 17!" She was sitting up now, and I wish she wouldn't, but it's still out of a question.

"Bella, I understand, but still no, and if your worried that I won't love you because you'll be old, your wrong, I will always love you, come on lets just drop it." She looked like she was contemplating on whether to keep pushing me, or quit, but I wanted to stop because I was getting angry with her ridiculous reasoning.

"Fine." great! Time for my plan to start.

"What do you want to eat?" I picked her up, carried her out my door, down stais to the kitchen, and sat her down on a chair.

"Oh I don't care, but nothing fancy, oh can I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" she all ways amazed me with her child like ways, but I still love her so much, I guess I could tweak my plan to work with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,

"Ok, sure." she smiled, kicking her legs like a toddler waiting impatiently, I started making on her sandwich, while I was working on what to say, but to say the least I was a nervous wreck, I cut her sandwich from corner to corner and sat it down on the table in front of her, then I told her I'd be back in a second, and I really was only a second, because I used my vampire speed. She looked stunned, but then went back to eating her sandwich, and I watched her finish it and drink her water.

I said "Bella, I love you so much," then I got down on one knee, "Will you marry me?" I held up the ring that I had for her, and I hoped she'd like it, well I just hoped she'd say yes.

BPOV

Oh my gosh! He was asking me to marry him? Does he realize that I'm only 18? Say something Bella!

"Edward, I'm only 18," I mumbled. "Yes." I said through tears, because Edward loved me, he loved me so much, he wanted to marry me! I was also a little afraid of what Charlie would say when I told him I'm gonna get married, I played through in my mind I what would happen, that just scared me more, I shouldn't have done that, but the ring was already on my finger. It was so beautiful, and simple yet stunning, one good sized diamond, with a gold band. We kissed and he carried me bridal style up to his room, he looked so happy, and I tried to look happy too, but I was so nervous about Charlie, what if he forbade me from ever seeing Edward again, or tried to kill him? I'm only 18, wait- I'm 18 I can make me own decisions! Duh! It doesn't matter what Charlie says! I'm an adult! And Edward couldn't die anyway! I'm gonna have to get used to this vampire thing, I hate that he has super speed! That's not fair! I wish that he'd turn me into a vampire though! I'm not gonna be 40 while he's still 17! I'm old enough to be his mom! He will turn me though, I'm not gonna stop until I get my way! I can be very stubborn if I want to be.

**A/N about the ring, I really don't know what an old fashioned ring looks like, so I just gave Bella my mom's wedding ring.**


	7. I make my own decisions

**(has anyone heard of twilightfancenterdotcom**** it took me awhile but I finally got all my chapters on, I think it's a lot harder than this website, but I just wanted to tell y'all, so u know that u guys have another website 4 twilight stories! Whoo hoo! This story currently has (at 2:55PM on august 15th) 283 Hits** **and 76 Visitors**, **YAY! xD)**

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight/characters, they are just forced to do as I say!

BPOV

Alice was running around the house like a mad man! Or a mad pixie, which ever you prefer, but she was trying to get all the wedding stuff done, but I don't see why she has to get it all done now four months before the wedding, she already had _my_ dress picked out, and all the bridesmaids dresses, and had a cater and Edward's tux, and all the flowers were ready, what else was there to do? Well there's probably something that needs doing, but what also bothered me was that she picked out _my_ dress _for_ me without _my_ approving of it! Hello? _My_ wedding! But it was blue, Edward's favorite color on me, so let it slide, but I'm still wary of what she'll do next. Even though it was beautiful, it still bothered me. "Alice what else is there left that you can possibly do?" I wanted her to stop, because she was making me feel bad that she was working so hard on my wedding when I wasn't doing anything, but really I couldn't, she wouldn't let me, she kept saying that I would get in the way, and I thought so too. She just ignored me, well she'll be sorry when she has nothing left to plan or organize in a few days. I was sitting with Edward, my fiancé, I loved saying that, but today we were supposed to tell Charlie about my getting married, so it was hard to pay attention to the movie that I was _watching, yea right,_ with Edward.

EPOV

"Bella, are you really that nervous about going to tell Charlie?" this whole fidgeting thing and staring into space was getting annoying, "Because you shouldn't be, I'm gonna be right there with you, and he's not gonna do anything to you, come on, nothing is gonna happen, plus if he's mad at you and never wants to see you ever again then it will be easier, to turn you into a Vampire." oh CRAP! Well I had been thinking about it, I wanted to live with her for the rest of eternity, and she kept pushing the subject, so it was inevitable, she was gonna get her way.

"Edward, seriously? You're gonna turn me into a Vampire? You would do that?" she squeaked, wow my ears hurt a lot for that little squeak.

"Don't ever squeak like that again, please." great I'd made that sound like a threat, with a small please at the end. Oh great. I would give anything to read her mind!

"Sorry." she was so cute when she looked down at her hands and mumbled like that. "I just really want to be a Vampire! Do you really even realize how much I love you?" oh my gosh! did she just ask me that? I love her more than she could ever love me, I would do for my Bella, die for her, if I could, and wouldn't allow her to do the same for me.

"Bella why would you ask such a question? Do you know how much I love you? I would do anything for you; I would die for you if I could."

"I would die for you too, and I can." she sniffled

"NO, no Bella, you cannot die for me, I will not allow it! You're being ridiculous! look, do want to go tell Charlie now?" I finalized, maybe then she would stop worrying.

"NO, Edward, I would really die for you I don't care if you would want me to or not!" she raised her voice, she raised her at me! "Yea." she sighed. Good finally we would stop this preposterous conversation. I held her hand till we got until we got out of the house, and used my super speed to open the car door for her. When she got in I closed her door, and got in the driver's seat, which struck up a previous conversation. "Why must you do that kind of stuff? Just to torture me? You know that I want to be a Vampire, but _some body_ won't let me!" ok enough is enough.

"Bella I'm not going to turn you! That is it! End of discussion!" She made me furious! I did want to be with her for eternity but I can't do that to her! I can't let her live that kind of life; no I'd be a terrible fiancé! No! And that's my final word on the subject.

BPOV

We pulled into my drive way after an almost silent car ride, I was about to get out of the car when Edward sighed, "Bella, look I'm sorry, but I could never forgive myself if I did that to you, don't you understand? I could never live with myself and the process is quite painful, I wouldn't be able to stand watching you hurt like that, and there would be nothing for me to do to help you. Please forgive me for my outburst towards you?"

"Edward, there is nothing to forgive, I realize that you are only trying to keep me safe, but what if you accidentally hurt me, because I'm so fragile; sometimes people have to take risks." Edward got out of the car before I could and opened my door for me, we walked hand in hand to the door and I opened it. I found Charlie sitting on the couch watching TV, "Hi dad." I tried to hide the nervousness from my voice, but I think he heard it and my face confirmed it. Great.

"What's up Bells?" he looked from me to Edward with concern in his eyes and he stood, glared at Edward and back at me, "Are you pregnant?!" he yelled outraged.

"NO! no, I'm not, but I have something else I need to tell you." he look somewhat relieved but still worried, but then Edward spoke.

"I asked Bella to marry me." he started and I would have to finish for him.

"And I said yes." I looked down waiting for my dad to blow up, and give me another lecture about how we were too young and we can't get married, and how it was ridiculous, and he wouldn't ever allow it_. But it doesn't matter if he won't allow it; I'm 18 I can make my own decisions!_ I told myself, but I would never say that to him.

"WHAT?! YOU-YOU- OUT!" I thought he was talking to me but when I looked up he was fuming at Edward.

"**NO! **dad if he goes, then I go! I love him, and -" I was sobbing of course; Edward rubbed my back softly and looked at me reluctantly. His eyes said _its ok, don't worry I'll be up in your room._ "NO DAD! I'm 18! I can make my own decisions and I made my decision to marry Edward and that's what I'm going to do!" hot angry tears covered my face, but I didn't care. I stormed out of the house with Edward at my side.

(A/N: woo hoo! Bella stood up to her dad! You go girl! xD)


	8. I have to go

disclaimer: i dont own twilight or its characters i just manipulate them! Muahahaha! xD

EPOV

"I'm sorry Bella," I said truthfully, when we were at my house, the car ride had been silent except for Bella's occasional sniffles. I was sorry, I knew that Charlie hated me, but I didn't understand why Bella was afraid to tell him, I thought that she was being dramatic, because her own dad can't hate her solely for getting married, but I guess I was wrong.

"Why on earth are you sorry? For wanting to marry me? Because you shouldn't be! I love you and I do want to marry you, I just wish my dad wasn't a jerk!" she said as she plopped down on the couch.

"Well, I could have married you later, and maybe your dad wouldn't hate me so, and I thought that you were just being melodramatic, I didn't believe that he would ever be so upset! It's my fault Bella!" I sighed "Please stop crying." I added hurt. Then I sighed as I sat down next to her, "Your dad and I are more alike than you think Bella, we both want what's best for you, and if you were my daughter I think I would be pretty upset too." I hated saying that, but it was true. I realized that she would eventually have to go back to get clothes and stuff. I wasn't about to tell her that because I was afraid that she would blow up again. "Bella please stop, ok? Please stop crying, Bella look at me," I lifted her chin up to face me, "everything is going to be alright, ok? Don't worry Charlie will come around, just give him some time to get used to the idea," I rubbed small circles into her back to try to soothe her. But then Alice decided to pop in.

Hey bells I saw what happened I'm sorry and also-" she stopped, she was getting a vision. "OH MY GOD!" was all she said then stared at Bella with wide eyes. "I'm gonna -never mind." she looked down at the ground and it looked as if she was trying to hide her excitement about something and it was hurting her, I think Bella saw the same thing and burst out laughing right after she left.

"What in the world was that all about!? Alice get your little pixie butt back here right now and tell me -us- what's going on!"

"No, no I'm not gonna tell you," she yelled as she walked in the living room, "I want it to be a surprise! It's hard enough for me as it is not to squeal! So-" she stuck her tongue out at me, "at you! HPMH!" and she stomped off out of the room.

"Well," Bella started I suppose we are gonna find out sooner or later, Alice can't stay silent forever, think about it, it would kill her! And if it's about us, it will happen sooner or later." she added seductively, it gave my already cold body chills, I've never heard her talk like that, so it was kinda different but a good different as I lunged toward her and kissed every visible part of her body, she and I moaned with pleasure, and I lost control soon after, and well, you don't wanna know what happened, except I almost bit her, I almost took her life right there, and I can't remember what in the world stopped me, but I thank that person, or thought with all my heart.

**BPOV**

I woke up to Edward's arms around me tightly as if guarding me, but he was always guarding me, "Good morning love, are you feeling alright?" his voice cracked! His voice has never cracked, or at least not a time that I can remember right away, I turned to look at him, but he was staring at my neck, and my neck hurt like hell! I thought I was never going to be able to move my head again, the pain was unbearable, and I tried to turn my body instead, but it still hurt terribly.

"OH!" I gasped at the pain in my neck, and reached out to touch it, but even the slightest skim over it hurt so much, I hissed, I never though such a small touch could ever have so much pain! Edward left hurriedly and I wanted to follow him, but the constant reminder of this pain was too much, so I didn't want to get up, I heard Carlisle and him talking, well more like Carlisle whispering and Edward yelling, I couldn't really hear what Carlisle was saying but I heard all of Edward's words.

"Carlisle, I almost killed her right there, I can't, I can't, and I have to go! She couldn't possibly love me! She can't, not after what happened!"

"No Edward…you have to… she…now more than…if she gets…have to…abortion, but…how… feel about that." I tried to block them out, abortion, killing a baby, but Carlisle would never suggest something like that! Maybe I heard him wrong, and Edward was going to leave me? A wave of rejection, dropped on my stomach like a weight, he was going to leave me, and oh gosh, I- no I can't be! Pregnant?!

A/N ok I'm a religious person, so I don't like putting oh my god, but I wanted emphasis, sorry I didn't want to offend anyone, and I didn't put in any details about the sex because I didn't think it was necessary and I would have to change the rating to M and I don't want to do that, sorry if that's what you wanted, plus I don't think I could write a lemon very well, but i hope u liked this chapter!


	9. Only choice

_Previously: __A wave of rejection, dropped on my stomach like a weight, he was going to leave me, and oh gosh, I- no I can't be! Pregnant?! _

BPOV

Well actually that's really stupid of course I could be pregnant! From last night, it was amazing, but I can't believe that I could get pregnant! Edward told me he can't have children! He's always wanted to but he can't and he was leaving me? Because I'm pregnant?! So he doesn't want children, then why didn't he just say that, instead of making up, _vampires can't have children. _I would have understood, I wouldn't have been happy about it but it would have been better than lying to me and saying that he just plain couldn't have children! A million and one things clouded up my mind, and when Edward finally mopped into his room, I was livid. I refused to look at him, he wanted to leave me, so that's fine, he doesn't have to even say goodbye because I'll say it for him. _No you won't,_ that little voice said, I hated that voice but only because it was right, _always_.

"Bella? Listen I know you heard me, and…" he paused as if thinking how he was going to say what he meant with out hurting me.

"Edward, I thought that you loved me, but now I can see that you don't, you lied to me, and got me pregnant, and now you don't want me, that's fine." tears rolled down my cheeks like a faucet. As much as my neck hurt I didn't give a hoot, I gasped as I sat up though, but it didn't change my mind, but I did realize that I was naked, _great._ I looked quickly for my T shirt and found it lying on top of the covers at the end of the bed. I grabbed it, pulled it over my head quickly and let me feet hit the ground but before I got off the bed, Edward stopped me and grabbed my shoulders.

"NO! You can't leave me! I'm nothing without you! Bella I do want you! More than anything, I didn't lie to you, I know that you must think I did but I didn't! I didn't know that you could get pregnant, I had no idea! It's not supposed to happen! Oh please believe me!" when I saw the enormous amount of pain in his eyes, guilt hit me almost as hard as the rejection did earlier.

"Then why did you say that you couldn't have kids?" I asked quietly. "Why did you want to leave me?" I asked a little more heated, and then I blew up. "And why on this planet would you ever think that I would hate you for getting me pregnant?! it doesn't make sense." he sighed, and got up on the bed with me and held my hand, a little too tightly.

"Carlisle said the only logical reason that you could get pregnant is because you are human, but other than that he doesn't know how. The bruise on your neck," he said so quietly I had to strain to hear it. "I gave you that, I almost bit you, I was so close to breaking the skin Bella, so close! I don't really remember what stopped me from turning you, but I almost took your life. I thought that you wouldn't be able to love me after I tried to kill you, it would be impossible to love a monster who tried to kill his own fiancé!" he held my face in his hands as he dry sobbed, "You can't possibly understand how hard it is to resist the urge for your blood." he spat quickly. My eyes widened, I didn't know that the desire for my blood could hurt him like this. He saw my expression.

"Oh Bella, I didn't mean to frighten you, I'm sorry, I - I wasn't thinking!" he sputtered.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't realize how much it hurt you or how far I had pushed you." I felt like a child. Again. "But wait, how do you know that I'm pregnant?" curiosity itched at me.

"Remember Alice when she had her vision? You were right she couldn't keep it in for long, so she told me, and I asked Carlisle if it was possible, but he said he didn't know, except that… never mind." And that was a mistake!

"NO! NO! NO! Edward Cullen you are going to tell me what you were going to say!"

"It was nothing Bella, nothing," he shook his head and tried to hide the sorrow in his eyes as he rubbed up my arms and finally put his hand on my stomach. I didn't know what he was expecting, it wasn't gonna kick or anything, but surprisingly I felt a small nudge.

"Oh!" I gasped at the new feeling, "I didn't think that it would kick this early, right?" I knew nothing about pregnancies but I didn't think that was normal. _Ha, _Irealized that I'm a girl that's almost married to a vampire who's pregnant with his child. Oh my gosh I'm pregnant before I'm married, I felt so guilty now, it didn't matter to me that I would be married soon, I still felt like a pregnant teenager, with her boyfriend that might leave her at any second. I wanted to break down, but I couldn't find the tears, and I didn't know why. Edward continued to move his hand around my stomach, as if looking for something or waiting for a certain reaction. After awhile it got a little annoying, "Edward um… what are you do-OH!" the baby kicked me! I was like hey, excuse you, little baby or embryo- whatever you are right now! Edward gave me a quick concerned look then swiftly picked me up and in an instant set me in a chair in Carlisle's office, where Carlisle was rummaging through papers, and looked up at Edward, and quickly to me, then back to Edward. Dang it! They were speaking telepathically I wish I could read minds too! "Is anyone going to tell me what's going on?" I was mostly asking Edward but he just seemed to ignore me and kept thinking to Carlisle. After about a minute Edward spoke.

"Bella," he sighed sadly, "I need to tell you something that you're not going to like,"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked rhetorically, looking down at my knees, Edward scooted another chair next to me, and held my hand.

"Bella, you are going to die if you carry this baby," his voice sounded so sad, no miserable, "so if you don't have an abortion, you will die."

"What?" was all that would escape my lips, my whole body felt numb, I would die if I got to have this baby, Edward's child would kill me? I couldn't believe it! "No! I want this baby! Please! There is another way right? There is always another way!" at least in the books and movies there are.

"Bella, I'm sorry but that's the only option, you really don't have a choice." Carlisle said sadly. Yes I do I'm going to have this baby whether any of you like it or not! But I couldn't do that to Edward he's so afraid of my well being.

"Bella, I want this baby just as much as you do, but I can't let you die, I can't be that selfish." he gripped my hand tighter, "I love you so much and I do love our baby, but I won't allow you to kill your self, it's just not an option."

"But Edward, I want this baby, I want to have children!" I felt like he was ripping my world away, I've always wanted to have a family and this morning I thought god had given me another chance, and now Edward was ripping it out of my hands, it wasn't fair! I started crying uncontrollably as Edward held me tightly and kissed my forehead. "It's not fair."

(A/N wow I kinda wanted to cry right there, for Bella, I've just been wondering if anyone's been finding any spelling or grammar errors, because I'm trying to fix them as I go, but I always miss some, so sorry if I've made the story confusing. I'm just wondering if people are actually liking my story bcuz I ve only gotten 8 reviews but I've gotten **615 Hits** and **164 Visitors**, I find it hard to find motivation to write sometimes bcuz I feel like no one wants to read it, becuz no ones telling me they want more, only a few, and I thank yall that are. xXx.La.tua.cantante.xXx got my butt up and writing again thax! So can ya show me a little love _please_? U guys r awesome, hope u enjoyed this one.)


	10. Abortion?

DISCLAIMER I don't own Twilight or its character I just bend them to my will! Muahahaha! xD

**EPOV**

I felt terrible for what I was doing to Bella, because I loved her, and I did want kids, almost more than anything, but I want Bella alive more than I wanted kids. I hate how I can be so selfish most of the time…but I won't let her die, never. She was still sobbing uncontrollably, so I carried her back to the room and sat her on my bed. "Bella, please…" I sighed, she still cried, "Nothing will make you feel better, will it?" she shook her head, her fragile hands covering her face; I wasn't sure if I should still try to comfort her or just leave her be. "Bella is there anything I can do?" she shuddered.

"I want this child, Edward, more than anything, if I have to die for it, that's fine, it's a reasonable trade." she said stubbornly through her tears. She looked down at her hands, I didn't think it would come to this, I didn't want to force her, but I could not- no would not, let her die. "And how would I die from getting pregnant?" she pried. Maybe if I explained better she would change her mind, _well duh,_ I told myself, she's bound to be upset when she realizes that she's pregnant and going to die because of it, all in one day with out any explanation why.

"Bella there has only been one case ever recorded of a human having a vampire's child, and it didn't turn out so well. Carlisle thought it was just a story. I don't want to scare you, but you will probably die during pregnancy, because the baby grows too fast for any human body to handle, the two just aren't compatible, I'm sorry Bella." I was furious with myself, I could never give her what she wanted, I wish more than anything that I could be human, and give her everything she wanted, but I think she saw me beating my self up because she forced my head up to hers, well she really couldn't force me but she tried.

"Stop." she whispered. "Stop blaming your self, it gets on my nerves... ok fine, I'll give up the baby," she said pain filled her voice. I could tell she was only doing this for me, I wanted to tell her that I wanted this child too, but I couldn't she would be mad at me that I'm making her get rid of it, even though I want it too. Wow, that sounded so cold, _get rid of it, _I am a monster, getting _rid_ of my own child; I tried to push the thoughtfrom my mind.

"Bella, no I can't make you do something that you don't want to do. I won't, if you want this child then I'll be willing to give you up for it." As much as I tried I did end up dry sobing at the end_. _

"No, Edward. I-I-I don't want to die, really selfish I know." she muttered, "…and I don't want to leave you…" she looked down as if it was a sin she was confessing.

"Well now love, that's exactly how I feel." maybe she did understand after all.

"So abortion then?" her watering eyes met mine cautiously, I could tell she was nervous, and it was talking a lot for her not to cry hysterically. I sighed; I despised doing this to her, but my selfishness overcame my rational thoughts.

"Yes Bella." I pulled her towards me for a tight hug. She tried to pull away, maybe she wasn't ready to accept the fact that she will never have children, she probably blames me, and she should. It must seem like I'm ripping away her chance to have a family, in her eyes. I don't deserve her, I want more than anything to be human, so I could give her everything in life, I thought about how different our life would be now if I was human, like her. I tried to push that thought away, because wishing wasn't gonna help. "Bella, love, I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me, I can't bear it." I sighed. She just sobbed more violently, perhaps was a jerk and should let her keep the baby, she would probably want to talk to Alice about this. "Alice-I-?" I was a little surprised, I shouldn't have been though. At the same moment of that thought, Alice burst into the room, she'd probably had a vision. She rushed to Bella's side, and sat on the bed next to her, trying desperately to comfort her.

_It will be ok, don't worry, I had a vision._ She thought to me. But when I didn't budge she thought, _go on! _She was so pushy, she glared at me for my comment, but I didn't care. I left the room; I wanted to talk to Carlisle. I knocked on the door, and he let me in immediately. He already knew my question, and the answer. I closed the door waiting for him to speak.

"Edward, since the child is turning her as we speak, she can't have an abortion, it would leave her partially transformed…I don't know what she is going to do. I'm sorry, but she will have the child and most likely die." I stayed quiet for a while, I was contemplating on what to do, but there wasn't a choice, she was going to die either way.

"What are the chances that she could live?" I asked quietly, I almost didn't want to know, especially if they were bad.

"Little to none, I…" Carlisle started, then he…. Wait did he just smile? I wish he would quit blocking his thoughts!

**A/N Cliffy! Yes I'm mean but only because no one has reviewed! don't make me bribe you, and say if u review ill give u a sneak peek, cuz I know writers have been doing that. (I don't like it, it seems like I'm begging.) bcuz I don't want to do that bcuz I mite change my mind, and have to tweak it or something, and I wouldn't be able to use that bit in my next chapter or whatever. Ok if any of you are confused how Alice didn't know about the whole abortion thing, she saw further into the future, a happy time, while Bella was…well I don't wanna give it away. that's why she didn't want to say anything to Edward or Bella, bcuz she didn't know when it would be and she didn't want to spoil the surprise. If u have any?'s then PM me or review (hint hint ;) and I'll answer as soon as I can. sory it was so short. hope u enjoyed xD also does anyone think i shud to change the rating to M just to be safe? thax!**


	11. Bite Of Death

DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight, I only manipulate them! Muahahaha! xD

_**A/N ok I'm gonna skip ahead 1 month. And I'm sorry if this sounds like Breaking Dawn, I had no idea! **_

**1 month later**

**BPOV**

"I can't believe I agreed to this!" I whined for the millionth time. I was miserable, I was hot and cold, my stomach was cold, and the rest of me was damp and clammy with sweat. I felt disgusting, and I just took a shower!

"Love, I told, you have no choice." he said sadly. He sat next to me on the couch, handed me my water as I leaned against my personal freezer, it felt so good! I drank my water greedily. He wrapped his arms around me, I felt a little guilty, because I wasn't sure if I was too hot for his body, but that didn't make me leave his cold arms.

"OW!" I hissed, recently the kicks were getting too much to handle, and it had only been one month! My hand immediately went to my stomach; I don't think he likes cold water. Edward sighed.

"Bella, I think I should tell you now…" he mumbled as he stared at the ground. So there was something he was keeping from me! He has been acting stranger each day, and is more protective than I would have ever imagined.

"What?" I looked up into his eyes, but he just looked away. He moved me so I was in his lap, and he could see my reaction, I suppose.

"Bella, soon…" he sighed and looked around, like it wasn't safe to tell me what he wanted me to know, "Carlisle, is going to take the baby out, and since you are slowly changing now, I-" his voice broke.

"What? Edward, please tell me." I pulled myself closer to him, partially because I was getting hot again, but I also didn't want him to change his mind, and not tell me, that would be cruel!

"Bella, after the baby is…err…removed, I will have to turn you… immediately, I'm sorry, but that's the only way." he paused taking in my reaction. Well I don't suppose it was as bad as dieing, but would the baby make it? How soon? Immediatly? I wish that we could have more time, and I won't even get to hold him, or her. It only three days, I suppose. "Carlisle," he continued, "is almost positive you will make it, but he doesn't know if the baby will make it." ok so maybe I'll never get to hold him or her alive, great.

"When are you going to…?" I couldn't bring my self to say it, _remove, _my mouth was suddenly dry, I half wished he wouldn't have told me, but I like being in the loop.

"Soon. Carlisle wanted to do it today or tomorrow, but I said that was too sudden, and I want more time with you." he made it sound like I'm dying, or moving somewhere where he will never see me again.

"Well geeze, you make it sound like you'll never see me again, I will still be Bella after I'm turned." I scoffed.

"No, you won't you will be different, you don't understand love, please, I wish every day that I could be human, and you wish that you could be a Vampire, why Bella? Why?" I wasn't exactly sure if that was a rhetorical question, but I just looked down at my lap. He sighed. "Carlisle wants to do it as soon as possible, but I want to have more time with you. I'm going to miss your blush, and your warm touch, and how you talk in your sleep." he looked as if he was mourning already. I but he forgot one more thing.

"But I'll still be clumsy!" I said happily, hoping my enthusiasm would soften him up. He gave me his crocked smile.

"Oh Bella you'd better be, because it's all I'll have left of the old you." he pulled me tight against him. I loved being this close to him; it's where I feel safest and the happiest. But that was about to be ruined.

"Edward, may I speak with you? Please?" Carlisle said, but his voice, it almost sounded frantic. Edward lifted me off his lap, I was already missing the nice cold feeling, I sighed, and Edward went after Carlisle.

**EPOV**

"What? What is it?" I was somewhat annoyed with Carlisle, because I wanted more time with Bella, while…don't go there. Carlisle looked at me nervously; I don't think I had ever seen him so edgy.

"Edward, we need to start now, postponing will only cause her more pain. Edward you are lucky you got this much time with her." he looked down at his desk. I guess he was unsure of how to convince me any further.

"but-" I had no excuse, I suppose this was the last day I would ever see her blush, or any of her lovely flaws, "fine." I don't think I could live with my self later for turning her.

FAST FORWARDING

"Edward," Carlisle said anxiously, "bite her, now!" its too hard to explain the pain I felt having to bite her, turn her into a monster, like me, I didn't want to condemn her to a life like mine, of course a monster like me, shouldn't get what it wants. Especially a child. I leaned over to my unconscious Bella, placed my teeth right at her neck and bit down.

**(A/N yes I'm evil! Ok review time! Hope u liked it!) **


	12. Where's The Baby?

**A/N sorry i ended the chapter right at the good part but i couldn't resist!! **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight or its characters; they just bow down to me! Muahahaha! xD**

_Previously _

"_Edward," Carlisle said anxiously, "bite her, now!" its too hard to explain the pain I felt having to bite her, turn her into a monster, like me, I didn't want to condemn her to a life like mine, of course a monster like me, shouldn't get what it wants. Especially a child. I leaned over to my unconscious Bella, placed my teeth right at her neck and bit down. _

EPOV

I pulled my knees to my chest, like a little ball, in the corner of the room; I couldn't look at my Bella, screaming. It was too much, I didn't want to leave her side but I couldn't take the pain. The pain of just watching, I had almost forgotten how much it hurt, like fire throughout your body. No- more than that- it's too hard to put into words, but I had to watch my treasure, my soul, writhe in unbearable pain. I wanted to leave to block it out of my mind. There was no use in covering my ears; I could hear just the same. Would she ever hate me for turning her into this? I don't know, maybe, she always did want it. Will she blame me for her child dieing? Probably. These and millions of other questions filled my mind, while my Bella struggled with the pain. Should I have just let her die? This question I hadn't been able to answer. She didn't want to die, she told me that herself, but if she understood the life of a Vampire, maybe she would have changed her answer. _Too late now_, that voice in my head said. I've been getting to know that voice very well the past few hours, or wait has it been a day already? I looked out the window, beside me; yes it was twilight now. I loved Bella more than anything in the world, and it kills me to see her like this, _yea like your not already dead. _

"AAHHGG!!" my head popped up out of its shell, to see again Bella, crying out in agony, I had forgotten how she had been talking before. "Kill me, please kill me Edward." she whimpered, as she squirmed about in her bed. That's it.

APOV

This whole 'I just wanna kill my self' thing with Edward is getting really annoying now! It's been a whole day now and he's still moping around- SLAM! Was that the front door?! Geeze Edward…

VISION: Edward, he collapsed on the forest ground, and sobbed uncontrollably, like Bella does-did, (VISION ENDED) oh I'd better go get him, before he does something stupid; Bella would be heart broken if she found out that Edward wasn't there when she woke, but I won't let him be gone that long. I ran out the door to sniff him down, _oh boy that sounded stupid. _Oh shut up.

EPOV

"Alice, please leave me alone!" I wish I could just wallow in self pity sometimes, "Alice I'll come home when I'm ready! Just GO!" I broke down dry sobbing, very Bella like. I'm going to miss her so much, she will never understand.

"Edward, come home, and quit feeling sorry for your self! What would Bella say if she saw you like this?!" Alice whined. I sighed but then I started hiccupping, Alice was right. Bella needs me, and I want to be by here side, and with that I followed Alice out of the forest, not really even looking where I was going.

--

The next two days were uneventful, except for trying to block out Bella's screeches. When the third day finally rolled around, I was overjoyed; I would get to see my Bella. I wondered what her power was, but more than that I just wanted to see her awake, and happy. _What if she asks about the child?_ That voice again. Forget it, she'll be happy that she's alive…right? I sat next to her on the bed, waiting for her to awake.

"Edward she will probably won't wake until late this afternoon…why don't you-"

"No Carlisle, I'm staying here." I had to be firm; he's been trying to get me out of this room for awhile now. Hours past…nothing. It was about 4:30 now and I was getting anxious; she looked so pale, and beautiful, more than beautiful, so much more. Maybe I should get out for a little while at least, I'll be gone before she wakes up, and it will help pass the time I suppose. I kissed her lips gently, and turned to leave the room, I opened the door as quietly as I could, but it wouldn't have made a difference, the door slightly squeaked, and I slipped through it with out a sound, and closed the door.

"Edward?"

"Bella?" I peeked through the door, and my Bella was sitting up in her bed.

"Edward, where's the baby?"

**A/N can anyone guess what happend to the baby? i think i gave away too many hints. that whole VISION thing sounded kinda stupid i know but that was the only way i could think of at the time. hope u liked this one. AND THANK U FOR REVIEWING!! yall are awesome.**


	13. I do

**A/N yes this is the end, sorry. **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or its characters they just bow down to me! Muahahaha! xD **

_Previously _

"_Edward?" _

"_Bella?" I peeked through the door, and my Bella was sitting up in her bed._

"_Edward, where's the baby?"_

EPOV

I was taken aback by her sudden inquiry; I walked to her bed side almost in a daze.

"Bella, are you alright love?" She seemed so full of energy, not tired at all, or even wary of where she was… strange for a new born.

"Yes, I'm fine, but is the baby ok?" she said determined. I sighed I had to tell her, I was just worried of her reaction.

"Do you remember the pain?" I asked softly, not even aware I had stated the question out loud.

"Yes." she answered meekly. I swallowed, realizing once again, that I was the one who caused her that pain. I refused to look at her; I would never forgive my self for that.

"Please answer my question." I tried to read her mind to see if she already knew, I hoped she did. Nothing, still, nothing. I sighed.

"Love…are you sure you want to know now, I mean you just woke up." I knew I gave it away, I could tell by the look on her face. She started dry crying. "I'm sorry love; there was nothing we could do." I rubbed circles into her back, and tried to comfort her, but that was to no avail, which I knew darn good and well that nothing would comfort her for a long while. Just then Alice burst into the room. Good; she's been bugging me for days now about the wedding, especially because we had to postpone it. And Charlie is just furious, and he refuses to speak to either me or Bella. I left the room, maybe after the wedding she would be alright.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." my angel was beautiful; I didn't deserve her at all. But my thoughts were interrupted.

"You may kiss the bride." I turned to Bella, in her long light blue dress, I took her hand, and I kissed her gently. She begged me not to take her on a fancy honey moon, so we were going to stay in my family's house- our house.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"I love you."

"I love you more than you will ever know."

**A/N sorry if this was disappointing to anyone, I'm just know I'm going to be really busy with school! And I really didn't know what else to write, I was kinda stuck in this chapter, sorry again, I **_**might**_** do a sequel during the holidays or whatever. I'll post on my profile, **_**if **_**I do a sequel. Hope you enjoyed this story.**


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